…Control Freak!”
It really sounds bad, but its true. I would much rather put God on a leash and be in full control of everything, rather than to be submissive to him and wait on his timing, to play by his rules, and to follow his path. Unfortunately, I have seen enough and I have learned enough in my ancient 27 years of living to know that I am out of luck, because God is in control and no matter how much I would rather him be on a leash, he will never assume that position. However, my knowledge of this does not make it easier for me, sure I have gotten better at giving up control, but I still struggle with it.
I believe God is huge on Integrity (John 1:45-48). I have been given an opportunity to speak at my church on July 6th. Now you may be reading this and think, “What’s the big deal? I speak at my church all the time!” Well, it is a big deal. I was a part of the teaching team at my former church and have been at my current church as a volunteer leader for less than two years, so #1 They don’t lay hands on any man suddenly (which is cool by me) and #2 Its been about two years since I did a message in “BIG” church, I speak with teens all the time. But, for two years God has put a passion in my heart for a particular subject a main theme for Christians and the church…its nothing new, but its what the Lord’s given to me, so in a way it is new. It focuses on the total abandonment of the people who say they are followers of the Christ. So, as I have been struggling to put all of the pieces to this message together, God has been building the message out of me. I have been living it for the past couple of weeks, and I just realized what was going on, and in the meantime learning that I have a serious problem if I am going to live out this message that is on my heart!
So there it is. Seriously ashamed. I am a control freak and it must stop! My wife would probably have a heart attack just for me admitting it. I never let her drive the family around with me in the car. I’ve always seen my dad drive and I always thought it was the gentlemen thing to do. I’ve let my wife drive me when I was very sick, but it was at those times that I could care less if I was in control. Nicki drives our boys (and Hailey) everywhere, so why is it any different when I am in the car? Because I must control. Though it is a small start, tonight when we go get dinner, I am having Nicki drive us everywhere! And when it comes to spiritual things, I realize I must give up my selfish ambitions, my understanding, my timing, and my plans to live totally abandoned to Jesus.
Join the Conversation…is there anything God is revealing to you lately?
Nick, I have the same issue. Giving up control has always been a difficult thing for me. I feel as if I’m growing in this area but it’s tough.
I feel as if God is putting me in more and more situations where I really don’t have any other option but to give him control!
Still praying for your upcoming weekend of speaking.
@ Pete, thanks for the prayers!
Nick, first of all, if I had a Georgia leash I’d have some serious control issues too! 🙂
Second, control is my first, middle and last name. But even in the process of control, I am being taught surrender! Keep your eyes on the goal man! You’ll be alright.