This post is neither for Donald Trump’s candidacy to be President, or against it. This post is simply to highlight important relationship lessons we can learn from Mr. Trump’s campaign; things we can all learn from regardless of political affiliation or who we believe should be the next President.
Mr. Trump has never shied away from speaking his mind and don’t get me wrong, there’s always a place for honesty and definitely a time and place to be brutally honest. I have a feeling any woman Donald Trump has dated and/or married learned quickly it wasn’t a good idea to ask him whether or not an outfit made them look fat.
After the first 2015 Republican primary debate on Fox News, Trump made the following statement to Sean Hannity, “I just want to be treated well and treated with respect.“ Who can argue with that? I think we all have that desire!
- When it was said Rick Perry, “Put on glasses so people thinks he’s smart”, I imagine Perry desired to be treated well and with respect.
- When it was said Megyn Kelly was a, “Total Loser”, I imagine Kelly desired to be treated well and with respect.
- When it was said Erick Erickson was a, “Sleaze and a Bafoon”, I imagine Erickson desired to be treated well and with respect.
- When it was said, Bette Midler was, “Grotesque”, I imagine Midler desired to be treated well and with respect.
- I’m sure when all of the people who have been called clowns, zeroes, dumb, and the like, they desired to be treated well and with respect.
Donald Trump (@realDonaldTrump), who only wants to be treated well and with respect, made each of those insults and that’s not even half the people he’s made negative and disparaging comments about since kicking off his presidential campaign. His detractors may say, “Amen, he deserves what he gets,” while his supporters may say each of those people got what they deserved because of the way they treated him, questioned him, or spoke about him. But what is it we can learn from all parties involved in these wars of words? How can Donald Trump influence our relationships so they become absolutely great, healthy, and the best they can be?
- No One Wins, Returning Disrespect with More Disrespect – We’ve all done it and that’s why we know it’s true. Maybe you didn’t like your spouse’s tone, so you replied with an ugly tone yourself. Maybe someone shot a mean comment your way, so you returned fire. How did that turn out? It definitely didn’t lead our relationship with the other person forward. When such behavior is put on public display, you have to wonder whether or not Mr. Trump and/or those who are participating in the mud slinging actually have close friends, or if those closest to them are only there because they somehow benefit personally. When their default behavior is to return disrespect with more disrespect, especially to those they barely know, one would have to wonder if that happens in their more private relationships as well. Peter told us in 1 Peter 3:9, “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.…” Healthy relationships are shaped through mercy (not giving someone what they deserve).
- You Win, Returning Respect for Disrespect – This is hard to do, but it is doable. Healthy relationships are shaped through grace (giving someone what they don’t deserve). Grace rebuilds their bridge even though you didn’t burn it down. Peter continued his wisdom in 1 Peter 3:9 when he told us, “Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” As we share life with other people, at some point we will find ourselves struggling with the need to control and that’s where grace gets tough. We may return respect for disrespect, but what will the other person do? We can’t control other people, but we win, personally, because God grants us His blessings when we do so.
- Both Honesty and Humility – You will not hear me criticize Donald Trump for saying what needs to be said on issues that face our country. I believe being honesty is honorable and I believe we should all use our voices to speak out on the evils that affect our world. Peter instructed us to “turn away from evil and do good”, therefore we have a responsibility to personally turn away from evil, but also to point out evil so others will also recognize it and turn away. However, honesty loses its honor when not accompanied by humility. A humble attitude can be very difficult to maintain, especially when you’re super successful, you don’t feel you need anyone else’s opinion. You start making your own headlines and then start believing them. This is why we were challenged to strive for unity, extend sympathy, to love one another, possess a tender heart, and fight for humility and peace.
Tweet QuoteDonald Trump may not be your choice for President, but he can still teach us valuable life lessons.
Join the conversation, what else can we learn from Trump or others to help us have healthier, stronger relationships?