I just posted this on the PDYM Blog…go over there and check some other great articles out!
I can remember the weekend very clearly. It was the summer that my wife was set to have a C-section for our second son, Tristan. The C-section was scheduled for Thursday, and the standard procedure was for the mom to stay in the hospital at least 3 days to make sure everything was healing properly. With the days quickly approaching to the delivery date, I remember telling my pastor that I needed some time off since Nicki would be in the hospital and there we were about to have a new born. Though I don’t remember the comments to the exact wording, it was with the tone of, “You don’t need too many days off, right? Ya’ll are already broken in with Gavin.” I already had to take Friday off and I would also miss Sunday, I would have liked to have been off the following week as well to help as much as I could, but I felt too much pressure from my pastor to get back into the office as soon as I could. Did he tell me I had to, no, but he had a way of making me feel guilty and shameful when he made the comments and the statements that he made.
That was when something inside of me knew what was taking place was wrong…it was just wrong! I had heard my pastor say that ministry was 24/7, he would constantly be in the office on his day off, and I got the feeling a lot of times that I was expected to be in on mine as well. I would be faced with questions such as, “Where were you yesterday?” I would always simply respond that it was my day off, but when I was questioned every week I felt like I was doing something wrong by not coming into the office and not checking my email one day a week. We brought in an executive pastor for about a year, and by watching him and learning from him I saw that I could have freedom in making sure I took a day off, and not feeling guilty about it. He was unapologetic for doing what not only was allowed of him, but what he knew was vital to his survival in ministry and as a father and husband.
I just returned from the YS Conference in Atlanta. Doug and Cathy were asked a lengthy question where part of it said, “…how can I get my wife to understand that ministry is 24/7?” I cringed when I heard that because it brought back memories of the bondage I was once under, and though I wanted to think that this guy was delusional, I could not help but to have empathy for him, because I was there; living with the same mentality and confusion that this guy was living with just a couple of years earlier. Here are just a few points I would like to make, Doug pointed out some of these to the guy, but I would like you to contribute your thoughts as well in the comments:
The Devil doesn’t but God does: Doug shared that a lot of old school pastors will make comments like, “I don’t take a day off because the devil doesn’t take a day off!”
(I’ve heard that with my own ears) Well that may be true, Satan doesn’t take a day off, but Genesis 2:2 says that God rested. The Hebrew meaning to that word is to cease, to rest, to desist from labor. So we are left with a simple choice, do we follow the example set by the devil or do we follow the example set by God? Because God didn’t take just an hour off for lunch, he rested the entire 7th day.
It’s A Sin Not Too: Doug simply responded to the gentleman asking the question at YS that “it is a sin not to take a day off.” Exodus 20:9-10 we are told to work 6 days and on the seventh that we are not to work. Now some pastors and ministers will tell you that Sunday is the Sabbath, so that should be our day of rest, however everyone knows the truth, there is no rest on Sunday, whether you accept it or not, unless you are sitting in the seat and doing nothing for the ministry on Sunday, you are working. That is why I value volunteer workers and leaders so much now, because not only are they working 5 days a week at their job, but they are working on Sunday as well. That is why it is the vital that the full time pastors and ministers help protect these leaders and make sure they are giving God and their family a Sabbath, that is why it is vitally important that we also allow them room to not have to put church first, but to put their families first. We have to lower our expectations of them being at every service, all the time. We can sum all of the commandments into 2: Love the Lord with all our hearts, soul, and mind; and Love your neighbor as yourself. Your family is as good as your neighbor and when we are not taking time for them, we do not love them as Christ commanded us to, this is transferable to female leaders and male leaders. We all know that the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E.
Another scripture that shows how God is a God of rest can be found at Hebrews 4:1-10.
People Expect You to Deliver: Here is a quote from someone’s blog that I found:
“…I finally get a break to call and just set up a time to discuss some things with my pastor, and I realize the weekend is here; it’s my pastor’s “day off,”…Wait! Why on earth, thought I, do pastors have days off? Why do they want them? I don’t want a day where I don’t get to do the ministry God called me to, or where my friends don’t call me if they’re in need. I don’t want to be ever inaccessible to my Christian friends.”
I am sure in our effort to please people, we would take a statement by someone like this and feel guilty for taking a day off, but just because someone has backwards thinking doesn’t mean we have to follow their leading. I have heard pastors say similar things about their calling not being during business hours but it was a life thing. The problem is, I’ve talked to some of their children (and been one of those children) who despised them for it. We are called to be Christians 24/7, to love God 24/7, to set a positive example of Christ 24/7, but we are not called to ministry 24/7 and when we do that, I wonder if we love our ministry more than we love our God and our family. I would love for some of the other contributors to share on this subject…