I have a firm rule as a pastor. I DO NOT beg (or ask) people to stay at New Passion.
I’ve always had my reasons why, but this verse, though simple, is very profound, I couldn’t have said it better myself…
These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us. 1 John 2:19
Here are a few of my (personal) reasons…
1. Protection – Jesus warned against false prophets who come in the church dressed as one of the sheep, but are as vicious wolves on the inside (Matthew 7:15). I believe this verse can be extended beyond “prophets” to those who would prey on the flock God has entrusted into my leadership and the leadership of the other church leaders. It is my responsibility to care for this flock that Jesus entrusted to me (1 Peter 5:2 “Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly…“)
- Why do “wolves” prey on the flock?
- Sexual Gain – There are people who’ll infiltrate the church to manipulate members of the opposite sex for sexual gain.
- Financial Gain – There are people, especially in businesses who rely on sales, marketing, and networking who will infiltrate the church to prey on others financially to build their own businesses and to profit personally from the people within the church. This is one of the reasons the “rich” and “successful” people flock to the largest churches in town, it’s good for business because there’s more people to “befriend.” And we all know that’s why Jesus established His church.
- Wicked Intentions – The fact is…there are evil people in this world and they have wicked intentions (whatever category they fall in). You are not going to convert a wolf into a vegetarian. Their nature is to devour meat. A “spiritual” wolf’s nature is to produce wickedness. Their goal is to cause chaos and destruction in the church. As Matt Chandler once asked, [paraphrased] “Would you dip your kids in blood and allow them to play with wolves?” “So why would we be okay with wolves hanging around our flock?
2. Preferences – The fact is, everyone has different preferences when it comes to church, and New Passion is not for everyone. We understand that and we are okay with that. Some people like chocolate ice cream, others prefer vanilla, while smart people (like me) choose strawberry. An Italian came along one day and decided he’d put all three together and it became known as “Neapolitan” Ice Cream. This would later become the blueprint for the church that offers a little bit of everything for everyone with a traditional service, contemporary service, Sunday School, and Small Groups. That’s okay for them, but it’s not for us. Our style is modern. Some people like a traditional style of worship or even a more toned down contemporary style. We know that people are going to come check us out and not everyone will be looking for what we are offering. That’s okay! It would be pointless to try and beg people to stay in an environment that they are uncomfortable with.
3. Prompting – Bottom-line, God leads people away from ministries in order to use them in other places. To try and convince people to “stay” with your ministry is selfish and could serve as potential confusion for those trying to discern the still small voice of God that is prompting them to serve in another capacity within another ministry. This is usually easy to recognize because these people will be faithful servants already serving or attempting to serve in the church where God placed them for that season. Some people will use this as an excuse to make it easier to leave because they fear confrontation and it’s pretty easy to discern, because they aren’t really faithfully serving in the present where they are at. Let them go! If we have someone who is faithfully serving, but feels God is prompting them to move to another ministry, we will do our very best to support them and pray for them as God uses them in a new capacity.
I was never the guy that dated a girl, broke up, dated again, broke up, dated again, etc, etc. I just didn’t see the point. I’ve been a part of churches where people would go to the leadership and announce that they felt it was time they found another church and through various forms of manipulation and “new” positions and jobs within the church, they would feel guilty and stay. In the end, the results were the same, but they spent several more months in misery. The reality is, no one can give me a single reason why any church or leader or pastor should beg anyone to stay…..yeah I didn’t think so.
If you start the habit of babying people, you have to keep it up! If you beg people to stay because they are big givers, well, then I believe you are a faithless, hireling, and people’s money will always control you.
Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. This is solely my personal opinion 🙂
i I see your point. I think I’m a wolf and I need a lot of prayer. I wonder how long it will take me to make sense of all this church stuff. I’m thankful for this church and how much I’ve grown in the small time we have been here. U hit the mark on a lot of points.
@Sara – Wow! Thanks for being transparent! I will definitely be praying for you!
Hey Nick- It’s great to hear your thoughts on this. It’s funny that you mention dating near the end of the post. Leaving New Passion was hard for us because of the relationship factor, but it’s even harder to ignore God nudging you.
@Christina – It is very difficult to see people leave under any circumstance (good & bad), but I never want to be the one to stand between someone and God’s nudge. We miss your family, but am very thankful you are doing what God has led you to!
Right on.
Sometimes the folks that stay around when they are not supposed to, not only miss out on something else, but they also turn into dead weight as the church tries to move forward. The other side of that is for some, asking the question of whether they should be a part of something or not is not even on the radar. As church leaders, we shouldn’t assume that most people involved in a ministry think like that. So, I’m glad you addressed it!
On preferences…being a new church, New Passion (more specifically you as the lead, and your team) are in a good position to say “this is who we are.” It gets harder for a church to define and re-define as it grows, and grows older. The lines of “current approach” and “Biblical mandate” can be lost over time. As long as “who you are” is being driven by a passion for Jesus…do it big! I pray the right folks keep getting on your bus, and the wrong ones get off ASAP!
On your closing statement, I would sum it up like this: “What you do to get people, you will have to do to keep them.” You’re right in not babying folks, and just letting them know what the deal is.
Do work brother! Let the Glory of the Name of Jesus be the passion of New Passion Church!
Great words Joey!
Good thoughts. Much of this sounds like the philosophy of my pastor, whom I agree with. I realize that this thread is quite old, but would really like your comments about one statement. “Bottom-line, God leads people away from ministries in order to use them in other places.” I’m wondering if you are referring to people who leave your church to go to another local church. We have had a number of people who left our church with our blessings and assistance to go into vocational ministry. With the exception of those, I am hard pressed to think of even one in the 24 years I have been at this church whom I believed to be leaving to be used in another local ministry. Invariably, they have just become discontent and leave to try to find whatever it is that they think will make them happy. It’s not about a “ministry”, but about them. They are church-hoppers. Until they find peace through their relationship with God, that is most likely what they will remain. That is because no matter where you go, you’ll always be there.
I definitely believe that a majority of the time God leads people away from a church to use them in a different capacity outside of their local area. I agree with you that there are those special circumstances where God opens a door for people to go to another church in their local area to serve or lead in a specific role, but every time, in those cases, those people already have a prepared role to step into and they typically always leave in the right way by seeking their church leaderships blessing. I also agree that a majority of people that I have seen leave the church and remain with another church locally have done so when they are disgruntled about something and those individuals typically do not leave the church in the right way. Although I do not beg or ask those people to stay with us, I always attempt to tell them when I believe they are leaving wrongly and I always encourage them that if they truly feel God is leading them away from our church, to do so in a healthy, appropriate manner. I believe that is my spiritual responsibility as a pastor and is part of shepherding them properly.